Just For Today – June 26 – Surrendering Self-Will – “Our fears are lessened and faith begins to grow as we learn the true meaning of surrend

June 26 Surrendering self-will Basic Text, p. 26

“Our fears are lessened and faith begins to grow as we learn the true meaning of surrender. We are no longer fighting fear, anger, guilt, self-pity, or depression.”

Surrender is the beginning of a new way of life. When driven primarily by self-will, we constantly wondered whether we’d covered all the bases, whether we’d manipulated that person in just the right way to achieve our ends, whether we’d missed a critical detail in our efforts to control and manage the world. We either felt afraid, fearing our schemes would fail; angry or self-pitying when they fell through; or guilty when we pulled them off. It was hard, living on self-will, but we didn’t know any other way.

Not that surrender is always easy. On the contrary, surrender can be difficult, especially in the beginning. Still, it’s easier to trust God, a Power capable of managing our lives, than to trust only ourselves, whose lives are unmanageable. And the more we surrender, the easier it gets.

When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power, all we have to do is our part, as responsibly and conscientiously as we can. Then we can leave the results up to our Higher Power. By surrendering, acting on faith, and living our lives according to the simple spiritual principles of this program, we can stop worrying and start living.

Just for today: I will surrender self-will. I will seek knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry it out. I will leave the results in my Higher Power’s hands.

Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Thank God these days get further apart the longer I stay clean work my program. Can't remember my last path of destruction but …

WOW what an emotional hang over. I really hate this feeling. The sad part about today, is that I had the opportunity to reset my day several times and I CHOSE NOT TO. It is like I wanted to be in a bad mood. The worst part is that I have to make amends tomorrow to people who were innocent bystanders. I cant believe that it was in this very anger that I used to live every day of my life. I am so grateful to have been able to shed that personality, for the most part. I also am grateful that by making amends, it will be more unlikely that I will do it again as I will not want to have to make the amends again.

After yr clean, my cuz stuck a needle in his arm to "see if it still sucked out there"-he said it did, so we all relax: NOTHING HAS CHANGED

My cousin had to pick up a white chip last night. He went out after having over a year clean. I must say that we all saw it coming: his moods were erratic and he conveniently moved himself to the edge of the program. When he said that he had been thinking about it for a while; I told him that, pretty much, it was just a matter of time. I am grateful that he made it back alive. Many times, people don't make it back alive–which is why I love to close a meeting with "Let's have a moment of silence for those still suffering addicts both inside and outside these rooms; and for those who've died so we don't have too. Yet, when I shared with him how grateful I was that he made it back alive, all I heard was disease talking. Now this is man who had surgery to removed a cancer on his lung, and they sowed him back up because his pulmonary artery was too brittle–so hearing how coming back was always in his plan and he was certain he would make it back – was the disease talking. This is especially true when you slam crystal meth, like he and I used did. I really am glad that he is back alive, but what his disease said to me this afternoon gives me concern. I am not sure that he is finished adding to his story.

Crystal Meth is such a devastating drug. Very few people recover; and the rates for junkies/slammer, like I are even more grim. I really pray that he has finished the chapters of his story. More importantly though, his experience has reinforced why I still try to go to as many meetings a week as I can — I need to go to hear what happens to people who do not go to meetings; why I continue to work steps; read a piece of recovery literature a day; and why I call or text my sponsor and sponsee brothers everyday.

Please say a prayer for my cousin. He said he feels real guilty … that is a good sign.

… And now we know that the time has come when that tired old lie "Once and Addict, Always An Addict" will no longer be tolerated by society or the addict himself. WE DO RECOVER.
AMEN

I have to watch people, places, and things: love the following from passage from We Do Recover – gives me hope

No we know that the time has come for that tired old lie, once an addict always an addict will no longer be tolerated by society or the addict himself. WE DO RECOVER … from We Do Recover Basic Text (available at http://www.na.org/pdf/litfiles/us_english/Booklet/Intro%20Guide%20to%20NA.pdf)

I am so grateful that i have been given a daily reprieve from the devastation in my life that is addiction. What I have come to understand for me is that sobriety is not enough. That I must continue to grow and that nothing short of a big change in my emotions and behavior is necessary to keep me clean and serene. What i do have to watch today is becoming addicted to people places and things. Such addictions can lead to as much chaos in my life as did my using. I am most struck by this today because in light of knowing just how disruptive a person can be for my serenity, i can still be attracted to them … that sucks … at least I can choose not to act on that attraction and walk in recovery and the solution, not the problem.

Anybody wanting a great daily meditation. NA free "Just for Today" is available thru email http://www.jftna.org/cgi-bin/dada/jft-namail.cgi

Anybody wanting a great daily meditation. NA free "Just for Today" is available thru email http://www.jftna.org/cgi-bin/dada/jft-namail.cgi

REMINDER: Florida Regional Convention of Narcotics Anonymous is July 3 – July 6, 2008 in Tampa..registration link follows

What Florida Regional Convention of Narcotics Anonymous
When Thu Jul 3 9am – Sun Jul 6 5pm

Where map
Marriott Tampa Waterside Hotel and Marina, 700 South Florida Avenue, Tampa, Florida

Reservations 1-800-228-9290. Room rate $104.00. Mention Florida Regional Convention of NA or FRCNA. There is only valet parking $5.00 per car $18 for overnight. Motorcycles are parked offsite or valet.
The Marriott Tampa Waterside is a totally non-smoking establishment
Registration Flyer link http://www.floridarso.org/FRCNA%20REGISTRATION4.pdf

3rd Step Prayer – God, I offer myself to you: to build with me and do with me as thou will. Relieve me of the bondage of self so that I ..

might better serve you; take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to that I might help.

David posted an excellent reply to my questions about Mormons and Christianity

http://recoverytweet.wordpress.com/2008/06/12/some1-explain2me-howr-mormons-christians-does-%e2%80%9canother-testament-of-jesus-christ%e2%80%9d-christianity-j-smith-seems-like-a-muhammad-2me/#comments

Some1 explain2me: How'r Mormons Christians? Does “Another testament of Jesus Christ” Christianity? J. Smith seems like a Muhammad 2me?

Seehttp://recoverytweet.wordpress.com/

Some1 explain2me: How’r Mormons Christians? Does “Another testament of Jesus Christ” Christianity? J. Smith seems like a Muhammad 2me?

Now please allow me to preface this post with the fact that I have reverence for anyone’s spiritual path and BY-NO-MEANS do I subscribe to the idea that my path is the ONLY path. With that being said, I am trying to understand a question that, until recently was inconsequential to me.

I was sitting here in my Boston hotel room—waiting to go to dinner and the hit an AA meeting a little later. Having just awoke from a nap and having some energy, I decided to investigate the room. I pulled open the nightstand drawer in the hotel room and I found (…Ok this is the time for ½ my friends to pull their mind out of the gutter and refocus J) The Book of Mormon “Another Testament or Jesus Christ.” So boredom in hand, I opened up the book to broaden my horizons.

I read the forward which has stimulated a succession of questions. Rather than couch the questions in elaborate paragraphs, I am just going to list them for brevity sake:

1. Do Mormons consider themselves Christians, and if so, How?
2. Is it just me, or, doe John Smith just seem like a present Day Muhammad trying to further enlighten the followers of the GOD of Abraham (ie Jews & Christians): Except instead of presenting an alternative to Christ as Muhammad did, he presents himself as revealing additional Christ teachings??? If the last statement was confusing, imagine how I feel trying to wrap my head around this.
3. Is John Smith a prophet, god, etc?

I will end my questions at this for right now. I would like to end this post with this observation. Laid next to the Book of Mormon was the Holy Bible place by the Gideons. Having always had the same curiosity as to who the Gideons were but too preoccupied to investigate, I too read the introduction to the Gideons. I am very impressed with their introduction as it answered my questions and left me wanting to possibly donate to that cause.